Drozek WIN$ First Masters Title

MBA CHAPTER - STATEN ISLAND, NY

Let the drinking bowling begin

On a blustery November afternoon, the usual suspects of the MBA’s Staten Island chapter gathered at Rab’s Country Lanes to partake in the holiday week’s Knock’em Back Masters. 44 bowlers would put their respective hungover selves to the test, nursing their ailments with Screwdrivers from the bar (now made with bonafide name brand orange juice as a result of League consumption).

“This event is ALWAYS played on the Sunday before Thanksgiving, at the end of one of the biggest bar weekends.” veteran bowler Megan Gaul told the press behind a pair of blackout shades.

The event was also noted for the wild number of last minute SEASON sign ups, after last month’s Sweetness Open was in the rearview. Mark Eadicicco, who initially chose to sit out this season, changed his mind the night before after his wife ran off to Colombia. “I’m just really hungry and alone.” he later reMarked (get it?). “I actually just wanted a rice ball from Genarro’s, so figured I might as well bowl, too.” Four rookies also joined late, not realizing that this was not just a one off event, but Daren Bastedo, Nikkianne DiPaola, Michael Vadola, and Kate Rael adjusted quickly, signing up for the rest of the season, and even bought merch on their phones while standing on the lanes. “Fuck it.” Rael said. 

Behind the scenes of a Hamill whiskey shot

With Game 1 underway, a few bright spots emerged to throw formidable games. Keri Sheheen threw a 151 (and would lead the day with 11 overall spares), Emily Peters with a 152, and Matt Wilson with a 155. “I stayed home last night and drank water while I watched Netflix.” Peters tweeted after the event. “I was ready.”

Game 2, as usual, would bring things into focus. When most of the herd wanes, a select few get better when fueled by the mighty High Roller’s Lounge. Christine Beaton would throw a 157,  Maggi Petersen a 158. Keith Paras, who had an overall EXCELLENT day on the lanes, would throw a 170 in his final game and finish with a 158 average. Unfortunately for him, Paul Drozek would throw a 164 to add to a brilliant 189 in Game 1, for a final average of 176.5. “Always a bridesmaid” Paras would later comment on the official MBA Instagram post through a stream of tears.

Champion Paul Drozek, dressed to impress

Drozek’s victory would NOT come without controversy, though. According to impeccable league records, Drozek did NOT sign up for the event and simply showed up to play. When he presented a $20 bill in person to the chapter leaders, his lane partner Tony Chiappi could be heard calling “bullshit!” at the top of his lungs. Since the league is a sucker for cold hard cash, Drozek was deemed qualified for his first Masters win. “It’s all about who you know.” he said while smiling and holding his sweet golden trophy.

Exhibit A

Other notables for the evening include:

• Rookie Bill Gagliardi would win his first Gutter Trash Award in just his second event. With a big smile on his face, he would tell the media how happy he felt after winning the bronze garbage can. “Wait, this is really the trophy?” Fellow member and wife Janine stood by proudly with their children to witness an event that is more than likely to happen again if these kind of scores stick around.

Being trash never felt so good!

• Lanes 19 and 20 had some technical issues early in the day. Hillary Scott and Maggi Petersen had to reset their respective lanes after their first throws, fearing a repeat of “The Great Lane Relocation” event from The Sweetness in October. Meanwhile, Sean Kuhl’s ball wouldn't return over on Lane 21. After the technician claimed to have returned his ball, Kuhl himself couldn't be found to verify that his ball did in fact return. He would be found 10 minutes later wolfing down a white pizza slice. “C’mon, leave me alone.” he would later say.

• For some reason, Lane 24 had a non-league lane between themselves and the rest of the gang. Although nobody would bowl in that spot, the occupants of Lane 24 felt slighted and demanded retribution. “We were on an island out there!” exclaimed Diane Chiappi. After a complaint was submitted to the league, officials promised that steps would be taken to improve their experience at the next event. “We plan on letting them bowl an hour before the rest of the chapter does.” a higher up who asked to remain anonymous said.

Event Scores:

Event Winner: P. Drozek (176.5 AVG)

Gutter Trash Award Winner: B. Gagliardi (8)

Highest Total Strikes: 7 (P. Drozek, M. Vadola)

Highest Total Spares: 11 (K. Sheheen)

Highest Total Gutters: 8 (B. Gagliardi)

Highest Score: 189 (P. Drozek)

Lowest Score: 74 (Darla & Little Joey Piergiovanni)

Tom Ryan #fitcheck